So, I have this issue . . . . There is this person, who I care for . . . . Not in the conventional sense . . but, a bit *more* . . . . We've been friends for many years . . . And, things have never really gone beyond, ya know? I've had these feelings for a long, long time . . . Never really thought she has felt the same . . . But I can't be sure . . . I get little things out of the things we talk about that almost convince me that she cares more for me than just as a friend . . . Truth be known . . . I love her . . . I'm in love with her . . . I could be good to her . . . Could be there for her . . . .
She is dating a guy . . . He has no idea who she is . . . What she is . . . What she needs . . . The thing is . . . Neither does she . . . She doesn't see herself as anything more than "ordinary" . . . Afraid to be who she wants to be . . . Afraid to open up. I'm the only person she can open up to . . . I'm the only one who cares . . . I wish she could see me that way . . . She's so scared of opening up, but I get it out of her . . . No one can find her emotionally, cuz she's scared to be found. I'm too scared to try . . . .
I love her . . . . I love her . . . .
Seven different shades of gray
Beneath the leaves
Shall fade away
The glacial freeze of a temptress heart
Doth wave good-bye
And so, shall part
Contoured lines, of an undefined dream
Turn bullets to targets
Or so, yet, it seems
Never a mentor, yet willing to teach
So close to calming
Insane, out of reach
Grasping so hasty, for something unseen
A parka for fishing
A lightbulb to scream
Juggle the cantor, and tear down the wall
You're dying to love me
I'm dying to fall
Sharpening my horns, as they cut off their wings
Denied of my Jigsaw
Confined to my sling
Stuck in her nightmare, it's obvious to see
Their demons all hate me
I'm what they can't be . .. . .
So . . . . I'm depressed . . . . It's official. **Yepp**
wtf
I'm dying . . . . It's for sure . . . . I have this effin virus that my entire unit has had . .. . . Can't breath, can't eat, can't drink, can't sleep . . . .Ahhhhhh!!!!
I've decided that this new blogging adventure, could possibly be the release I've been looking for. A way, I suppose, to unveil my odd personality, and weird views, to the world, without actually doing so. I suppose that's a coward thing to say, or do, but, it helps I guess. Either way, with each new stroke of a key, and little black letter that appears, I feel myself getting a little less miserable. I feel . . . . . relieved, for lack of a better term. Not sure if that's normal, but, I'm not normal, so it's okay. If anyone has anything particular to say, or just needs to talk . . . . by all means, hit me up . . . I'm different, but, I'm intelligent, polite, and willing to listen . . . .
advice
